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Chatting at the bar we were all very enthused that the powers that be have finally listened to reason and finally stopped the efforts to impose a ridiculous and impractical one way system between Angeles City / Balibago and the NLEX. Kudos to the local officials for doing this, but why-o-why have the traffic lights not been placed back into operation on McArthur?  

Good to see that the Grandview Towers are now up and running. We enjoyed a party night out in their new café come coffee shop a week ago – and got to try some of the delectable eats from their kitchen. If the food stays that good, looks like an eat out at the Grandview is going to become another regular Angeles City activity.   

On a more serious note, the Department of Health (DOH) National Epidemiology Center  reported that the cases of HIV/AIDs in the Philippines is now at an all time high – up 65 percent from this time last year. While much of this is being written off as nothing to do with the local sex trade, many of us at the bar found that a little hard to swallow, given the rates of infection from this area in other countries. Just another reason for guys to remember that no matter how drunk or hot to go you are, a little plastic raincoat is a must wear!

We then got to talking about an item reported in the Central Luzon daily. Apparently an old British expat and his wife were in Angeles for a few days. On their first day they were walking around and both had their necklaces snatched by two guys on a motorbike. Up to this point we felt really sorry for them as the guy is well into his 70s, and we can all fall victim to there bike grab thieves if we are not careful. But then we find out the worth of the items stolen – P5M! Who in their right minds walks around the streets anywhere with over $110,000 around their necks?  

1. Which actor brothers played the piano players in the 1989 film The Fabulous Baker Boys?

2. In What Year Did The American Civil War End?

3. Which Spanish Conquistador Conquered Peru?

4. What flavoring is used to make the Belgian beer, Kriek?

5. In which American City did Motown music begin?

6. With which boyband did Mariah Carey cover the Phil Collins hit, 'Against All Odds'?

7. What are you deficient in if you suffer from scurvy?

8. What part of the body is affected by Aneurysm?

9. Who was the first Beatle to have a solo number one hit?

10. When, and over what was the first British referendum held?

11. Which town had a clock which always told the time ' Never Too Quickly, Never Too Slowly'?

12. What does the girl's name Deborah mean?

13. What is the common name of the 'bander macaque'?

14. The song 'Hey Big Spender' comes from what musical?

15. What color is cerulean?

16. Who was the last woman to be executed in the UK?

17. What tasty treat did Hitchcock use to portray the blood seen in the shower scene for his classic film, Psycho?

18. Who played Eddie is the classic screen version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

19. Which long running BBC TV program has had eleven different actors play the same character?

20. Who was the last Aztec Emperor?

21. What is St. Appolonia the patron saint of?

22. In which city was the artist Francis Bacon born?

23. How Many Lanes Does An Olympic Standard Swimming Pool Have?

24. What on the human body is the Haulux?

25. How is 44 shown in Roman numerals?

26. Which English Comedian plays the lead role in the US TV series, House?

27. From which animal do we obtain the Scrag End cut of meat?

28. What plant provides natural vanilla flavoring?

29. Who was born at 17 Burton Street London on April 21st 1926?

30. What is the only letter of the alphabet that starts no name for the Devil?

-- ANSWERS --

 

A farmer was involved in a road accident ended up in court fighting for compensation.

"I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're supposed to have suffered?" stated the lawyer for the insurance company.

"Yes, that's right," replied the farmer.

"You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied, 'I've never felt better in my life.' Is that true?"

"Yeah, but ..." stammered the farmer.

"A simple yes or not will suffice," counsel interrupted quickly.

"Yes," Replied the farmer.

Then it was the turn of the farmer's lawyer to ask him questions. "Please tell the court the exact circumstance of events following the accident when you made your statement of health," his lawyer said.

"Certainly," replied the farmer. "After the accident my horse was thrashing around with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along, takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead. "Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots him dead too. Then he come straight over to me and asked me how I was feeling. "Now, mate, what the heck would you have said to him?"

If the cost of something is an arm and a leg, would it be less if it costs a hand and a foot?

So... I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me... I'll call it floppy!

Constipated people don't give a crap.

Leaving the bar in no shape to drive, a man starts walking home. On the way he was stopped by a policeman.

"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.

"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.

"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.

"My wife." said the man.

Just who audits IRS agents?

Two rednecks drove their pickup truck into a lumber yard.

One of them into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check."

After a while, he returned to the office and said…

"A long time. We're gonna build a house..."

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." So his wife unplugged the TV and threw out all his beer.

Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.

Come back for more funnies next month

 Trivia Quiz Answers