Expat Life in the Philippines - Bar Girls and Chat-Room Girls

Make no mistake, Filipina’s are lovely ladies and if you form an honest committed relationship you can have a lifetime of romance and companionship. But let’s be straight here; while there may be many nice, honest Filipina ladies that work as girly bar GROs (Guest Relation Officers), hostesses, bar girls, call them what you may, if they are of, lets say, ‘financially negotiable virtue’ and accept payment for sex, then by definition they are prostitutes. If you have a relationship with a Philippine bar girl, this is a truth you must accept.

If you meet someone from the sex trade, she will have known many men, figuratively and biblically, and will probably have been in quite a few relationships (probably many concurrent). Many men will have lied to her, made and broken promises and left her rather jaded in regard to relationships. Now, along you come and show interest. You will quickly hear her tell you how special you are and how you are the one, this is different, etc., etc. etc. Understand something here, if after a night of nooky you listen to and believe all these promises of fidelity, to coin a phrase – buyer beware! (And please contact me as I’ve a bridge I’d like to sell you).

This warning is nothing new. I’ve lost count of the times experienced Philippine expats have tried to explain the pitfalls to ‘new’ guys, only to be told “she’s different.” Any experienced Philippine expats reading this are probably nodding their heads now; you see, we have heard this same story over and over. Then a few months down the road we see the same guy back on vacation to see ‘his’ girl. He’s been sending her money each month so she could leave the bar and return to school. Only when we see him now he’s crying into his beer because she is still in a bar, still selling herself, and he’s finally realized he has been living on lies (as have the 3 or 4 other guys who have been sending her money). This may seem jaded advice, but this is the most common outcome of setting up a relationship with a bar girl you met and paid for a few nights of nookey.

When it comes to Filipina chat room girls, the advice is very similar. There are undoubtedly lots of sweet young and not so young Filipina ladies that use the internet to find potential partners; but there are others, those who are only out to scam. These types of Filipinas are not out to capture romance, they only care for something you keep in your pants - by which I mean the wallet in your back pocket.

Please take this advice to heart; by all means seek romance – many Filipinas are lovely, caring ladies - but no matter how lonely you are, if any Filipina bar girl or Filipina chat room girl, via email, text or any other media starts asking you for money, be it needing help for school fees, family emergency, to pay the internet fees or whatever - it is very probably a scam!

Romantic relationships are a very personal thing, so you should seek your dream, whatever it is, with your eyes open. Understand that many expats have wonderful relationships with Filipinas, but this advice handed out by so many on scam relationships in the Philippines is true, not something made up against you or ‘your girl’.

By all means be open and honest seeking a relationship – because if you are honest, smile and act with kindness you really can find a beautiful Filipina who wants to share your life - but also think things through - and use your head, not your heart (or other organ) to do your thinking.

If you are looking for a real relationship, remember that the Philippines are a land of contrasts. There are many lovely Filipinas in all walks of life; you may find a bar girl who is a keeper, a real diamond in the rough, or you could meet a girl at church group who turns out to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. In romance, as in life, nothing is certain.

About the Author: Expat author Tom Henry has lived in the Philippines for 20 years and among other books is the author of The Philippines Expat Survival Guide. 

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Expat Life in the Philippines – Cost of Living

Expat Life in the Philippines – Sex and Romance

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