Due to the long wet spells and typhoons we have been enduring this year, local cases of dengue fever are now at an all time high, and many more people are down with other damp induced fevers and sickness. So, we thought this an ideal chance to give a timely reminder on how YOU can help to keep the chances of you or your family becoming sick.

 

First, it’s important to realize that Dengue is an infectious tropical disease. The dengue virus has four different types, only some of which are life threatening, but none are pleasant! There is no dengue vaccine, and insect repellant, correct clothing and lowering the mosquito population by reducing the available breeding habitat are the most effective ways to reduce risks to yourself and your family.  

 

Do not think that mosquitoes bite only between dusk and dawn. Although the malarial mosquito feeds at night, the dengue mosquito (Aedes) feeds during daylight hours. This means that for real protection, you must take precautions, such as using repellants (on the body and in your home) both day and night. 

 

The Aedes mosquito prefers to breed in clean, stagnant water – something found in and around our homes and yards all too easily at this time of year. So, if you want to reduce the chance of your family being infected, we suggest that you:

 

• Expat Gossip
• Trivia Quiz
• This Month's Funnies
• Lina's Kitchen: Kapampangan Nilagang Baboy

Expat Gossip

Our bi-monthly round up of news, views, stories and gossip from the Expat bars and clubs in and around Angeles City, Balibago, Subic and Barrio Barretto.

2011 Fat Boy 10s Rugby

It must be that time of year again as our bar chat turned to Rugby last week. The official ‘Fat Boys’ are back in town for the 2011, 8^th Invitational Fat Boy 10s Rugby fun out on Clark at the start of September. This year’s festivities for the Fat Boy 10s start on Friday, September 2^nd with the Fat Boy 10s Open Golf Tournament taking place out at Mimosa Golf and Country Club on Clark.

Things will undoubtedly get a little more energetic at Clark’s Challenger Field stadium on Saturday September 3^rd when the 16 teams take to Fat Boy 10s field of battle and carnage, (otherwise known as the Rugby Pitch), for the usual rough and tumble knockout ‘Fat Boy’ Rugby 10s tournament.

As always, this event will be a fun day for spectators of all kinds, especially as the area around the pitch has something for everyone - even those not interested in the ongoing shenanigans and blood sport on the rugby pitch itself!

Along with food stalls of all types, there are stalls and a bouncy castle for the kids, beer tents staffed with a host of scantily clad attractive young ladies from around Angeles City’s bars and clubs for the dads. And, as a special treat, this year there is even a classic car and drag car display provided by our own boys of AHRA showing off their Classic Car paintjobs and V8 American Muscle.

What’s best of all is that entry to the Fat Boy 10s Rugby at Challenger Field is FREE, and don’t forget to look for the posters and flyers around the hotels, bars and clubs around Angeles City listing details and times for the free pick up and drop off services provided by the Fat Boy 10s event organizers.   

Clark DMIA

As reported in our March 2011 Expat Gossip, quite a few local expats had their noses a little out of joint by the continued expansion of Clark (DMIA). Views were split, both about the number of international flights (not enough destinations), and the lack of flights to domestic destinations (again, not enough destinations). On domestic flights, it must be said that it’s true that we seem to have had a strange situation develop whereby as the airport’s size increased over the years, the actual number of flights to other domestic locations around the Philippines decreased.

Although views were split on what was needed, more international or more domestic flights, everyone was in agreement that having to take annoying, costly and time wasting trips via Manila’s Domestic Airport was a very bad idea. However, during bar chats this month, it appears there may be a glimmer of hope on the horizon for all those who want to be able to fly from Clark DMIA to destinations both international and domestic.

With Manila’s NAIA airport again due for six months of night time runway-closing maintenance periods starting from January 2012, Clark DMIA will again be used as the overflow airport for night time flights. So, that means that more international flights will be coming to Clark DIMA. This said, we can only hope that (unlike the last time NAIA needed runway repairs), expats arriving on flights diverted to Clark DMIA will not land at Clark only to be forced on 4-hour bus trips to Manila Airport for immigration – and then have to travel back up the NLEX to Angeles City!

Air Asia’s partnership with Antonio Cojuangco, for an Air Asia Philippines company based at Clark DMIA has just received delivery its first Airbus A320, with three more due for delivery by the end of 2012. This company plans to increase the number of international flights and destinations from its Clark ‘hub.’

Tiger and SEAIR are also reputed to now be in partnership. Apart from new Clark – Singapore flights, the partnership is suppose to be also looking to increase the number of domestic destinations serviced by Clark – we guess only time will tell.  

Trivia Quiz

How’s your brain today? Find out if you have the skills and knowledge needed to complete this months 20 question trivia quiz.

1. What activity originated the expression to ‘knuckle down’?

2. Who was the last US soldier killed during the Vietnam War?

3. What do the letters M&M stand for on the sweets of the same name?

4. What is the only country that is also a continent?

5. Which rock floats on water?

6. How many Oscars did Walt Disney win between 1931 and 1969?

7. What was the first Australian Aboriginal word in the English language, and who first used it?

8. What do Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Amy Winehouse have in common?

9. What sport goes through approximately $800 million worth of balls annually?

10. Who was the last person in the world to die of smallpox?

11. Who was the only US president ever granted a patent?

12. What is the only animal born with horns?

13. Which is the only US state to have a ‘Royal Palace’?

14. Who was the first black artist to have a video aired on MTV?

15. When did the last Model T ford roll off the assembly line? 

16. Where would you find the world’s longest fence (5,530 kms)?

17. Which blond group won the Eurovision song contest in 1981 with ‘Making Your Mind Up’?

18. How many flowers must a honey bee tap to make 1 pound of honey?

19. What is American’s favorite snack food?

20. What is Tequila made from?  

-- ANSWERS --

 

This Month's Funnies

 

 

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that his wife hasn't had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctor’s office and the doc asks her why she doesn’t want to have sex with her husband anymore.

The wife explains that, "For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' so I take a 'or what'. When I get to work I'm late so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to write this down in the book or what?' so I take a 'or what'.

Back home again I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me again, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' so again I take a 'or what'. So you see doc when I get home I'm all tired out, and I don't want it any more."

The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, "So are we going to tell your husband or what?"

Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.

It pays to have insurance

A young, intelligent medical student specializing in sexual disorders decides to take a tour of a local clinic. Eager to impress a future doctor, the chief resident shows him around the facility.

While discussing current cases and the facility, they stumble across a patient masturbating in his room. "What condition does he have?" the student asks. "He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the resident replies. "If he doesn't ejaculate 20-30 times a day, he'll become confused and disoriented."

As the pair continue their tour, the student walks past another room and sees a patient with his pants around ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse. "What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"

"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan."

If you always take time to stop and smell the roses...sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

Only in Heaven

One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole - killing them both instantly.

The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he'll get back with them on that request.

A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can - in fact - get arried in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks "Just wondering, if things don't work out will we be able to get a divorce?"

With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out "Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here... you really think I'm gonna find a lawyer?"

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha!

Oh those Rednecks

One beautiful afternoon, a young redneck boy runs into his house and yells "Paw, I found her! I found the girl I'm gonna marry, and she's a virgin!"

Now while this might impress some families, it irritated and upset his father. Pounding his fist on the table, he yells back "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours!"

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders the desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. To just 'play along' and humor her.

Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.

Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?" "Ummm... 10!" the blonde says.

"Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history. "OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?" "Ummm... I don't know," she admits.

"Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "and come back later and tell me what you've figured out." He figures that's the last he'll see of her.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.

"Not only did I get the job," the blonde says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde woman replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to  Chicago and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to  Chicago and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Chicago."

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

 

Come back for more funnies next month

Trivia Answers

1.    Marbles – players put knuckles to the ground for their best shots.

2.    Kelton Rena Turner, this 18-year old Marine was killed in action on May 15, 1975 during  the Mayaguez incident.

3.    Mars and Murrie, the developers of the sweets back in 1941.

4.    Australia

5.    Pumice stone

6.    Thirty-five (35)

7.    Kangaroo, used by Captain James Cook.

8.    They all died at age 27

9.    Golf

10. English medical photographer, Janet Parker, May 8, 1980

11. Abraham Lincoln

12. The Giraffe

13. Hawaii (Iolani).

14. Michael Jackson (Billy Jean)

15. May 26, 1927.

16. Australia

17. Bucks Fizz

18. Two million (2,000,000)

19. Potato chips (1.2 billion pounds a year!).

20. The root of the blue agave cactus

Come back next month for more from the Angeles Xtra magazine from Angeles City, Balibago, Subic, and BarrioBarretto, Philippines.